I'm eager to hire a part-time intern (a paid position), so I began calling for applicants a few weeks ago. Resumes have been rolling in and I've received some interesting responses.
Not to sound like a total dick, but y'all should kick your parents in the nuts for not teaching you how to write a resume and apply for a job.
Here are three basic tips to remember when applying for a job:
1. Spell your shit correctly and use proper punctuation. It's important that you spell each word correctly on your resume because it means you care about the details. Capitalize the first word of each sentence and end with a period. If you're asking a question, use a question mark instead of a period. See?
2. Live within one-thousand miles of the job you're applying for. If you're applying for a job in California, it's crucial that you live in California. It's not possible for you to learn welding in Venice Beach when you're on the opposite side of the continent. I won't pick you up.
3. Be available. Consider the limitations of your schedule. If you're presently committed to a full-time job, forget it. It's okay if you're willing to quit or change your current job schedule, but do that before you contact me.
Okay, back to work. Please read Charles Murray's The Curmudgeon's Guide to Getting Ahead.